Well, it’s finally happening — the bucket-list goal of visiting all 50 states is nearly complete! After years of business & family trips, my college basketball away travel games, college visit trips, scenic drives, airport snacks, and questionable roadside motels, I’ve realized that the only continental U.S. states I’ve missed are the five sitting politely (and a little smugly) just above Texas: Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, and North Dakota. So, in a fit of ambition and mild insanity, I’ve decided to conquer them all in one glorious, five-day road trip.

Robin, displaying her usual good sense, has opted out. Something about “getting car sick” and “this being a ridiculous idea.” (To be fair, both points are valid.) So it’s just me, my shotgun, Audible books, and a music playlist long enough to make Lewis and Clark weep. My plan is simple: sightsee, shoot a few sporting clays, and get a first-hand look at what these states actually look like when you’re not flying over them. By the end of it, I’ll have checked off every state in the Lower 48 — leaving only Alaska standing between me and my 50-state bragging rights.

Preface

What started as a simple idea — five states in five days — turned into an unforgettable journey across the heart of America.

With guidance (and a few wisecracks) from my digital co-pilot, ChatGPT, the trip became more than a checklist of destinations. It became a reminder of how much beauty and humor can be found between the lines on a map.

So buckle up and come along for the ride — the miles may be many, but the moments made them worth it.

The 5 Day Plan – The Great Plains Pilgrimage: Fargo to OKC

The adventure begins in Fargo, North Dakota — yes, that Fargo, home of wood chippers, funny accents, and namesake of one of my all-time favorite movies. From there, I’ll point the car south and make my way toward Rapid City, South Dakota, while trying not to stop at every “World’s Largest Something” along the way. Over the next few days, I’ll roll through Nebraska, Kansas, and finally Oklahoma — a stretch of America known for wide skies, friendly people, and more cows than cell towers.

The grand finale lands me in Oklahoma City, where I’ll celebrate surviving five states in five days before catching a flight back to Orlando. If all goes well, I’ll have photos, stories, and maybe a few bruised shoulders from shooting clays to prove it happened. Then, only Alaska will remain on my 50-state conquest — though I suspect Robin might insist that one involve a cruise ship instead of 1,000+ miles of asphalt.

Day #1 – The Great Airport Adventure Start

Travel day! Nothing says “relaxing start to vacation” quite like walking into an airport with a shotgun (in a case). Let’s just say it’s not the kind of luggage that earns you friendly smiles at the check-in counter. After a few awkward glances and a quick explanation that I’m not auditioning for Die Hard 6: Duck Season, I was escorted—ever so politely—by an agent to TSA’s secret lair on another floor of the MCO airport. A little paperwork, a few nervous laughs, and voilà, the shotgun was cleared for takeoff. Who says air travel can’t be exciting before you even reach security?

Welcome to Fargo and the Dakotas, Gun Country

Landed in Fargo and immediately joined an exclusive club — the “Checked Firearm Pickup Society.” Apparently, I wasn’t the only one toting firepower; about a dozen fellow passengers were lined up for their own gun cases when we landed. Turns out it’s pheasant hunting season in the Dakotas, and judging by the number of camo jackets, Orvis hats and pickup trucks outside, it’s basically the Super Bowl around here. I might just have to come back next year and blend in — though I’ll need to work on my “Midwestern friendly but armed” look. Pheasant hunting might be in the cards for me then too.

From Fargo, I immediately hit the road for Pierre, South Dakota — a grueling 5+ hour drive (after a 5+ hour air travel journey) across the Great Plains, where the horizon is flatter than a pancake and the silos outnumber people about twenty to one. Miles of soybeans and wheat stretched endlessly in every direction. By hour four, I was starting to wonder if I’d accidentally joined an agricultural documentary. Still, there’s something mesmerizing about all that open land — it’s the kind of drive that makes you feel both free and slightly hypnotized.

Evening in Pierre, SD

Tonight, I’m calling the Best Western in Pierre, South Dakota home. It’s… cozy. Functional. Let’s just say it has all the charm of a place that proudly offers “free parking and a waffle machine.” Another solid reason why Robin opted out of this trip — Best Westerns aren’t exactly her natural habitat. She’s more “plush robes and room service” while I’m over here figuring out how to make the TV remote cooperate.

Pierre, by the way, is the state capital — which sounds fancy until you realize it’s only the sixth most populous city in South Dakota, with a whopping 14,000 people. It’s the kind of town where rush hour is just two trucks meeting at the same stoplight. But I’ve got a bed, Wi-Fi, and tomorrow’s adventures waiting, so life is good. Besides, who needs the Ritz when you’ve got an ice machine down the hall?

Dinner at the Cattlemen’s Club was a treat — though I quickly realized I was woefully underdressed for the occasion. I showed up in jeans and a quarter-zip sweater looking like I’d just wandered off the 18th hole at the local golf course, while everyone else looked ready to march straight into pheasant-hunting glory. The place was packed with folks in camouflage and neon-orange hunting caps — mandatory fashion in these parts, apparently. I stuck out like a sore thumb… or maybe more like a lost golf caddy. Still, the steak was outstanding — so good it almost made me forget I didn’t bring my orange hat from home.

Day #2 – Big National Park Visit Day

Waking up at the Best Western, I discovered a miracle — the best hotel pillows I’ve experienced in a decade. I don’t know what they stuff them with (angel feathers? Or, maybe pheasant feathers!), but I slept like I’d been hit with a tranquilizer dart. A great night’s sleep.

This morning I gas’d up my rental car and I made the obligatory sightseeing stop at the South Dakota State Capitol before heading south toward Rapid City, SD.

From there, it was on to the National Grasslands, where the view was mostly sky, sprinkled with a bit of grass for good measure. Then I rolled through the Badlands National Park, which, contrary to the name, are stunning. The landscape looks like Mars decided to move to South Dakota and take up modeling. But, the Big Horn Sheep seem to like it.

Evening Trip to Old Town (Deadwood, SD)

To cap off an already adventure-packed day, I took a drive up through Sturgis — the legendary biker haven that’s so quiet in the off-season you can almost hear a Harley echoing from last summer — and wound my way into Deadwood. The old-town streets look straight out of a Western movie, complete with creaky wooden sidewalks, vintage saloon signs, and that faint, lingering sense that Wild Bill Hickok might stroll in at any moment to challenge you to a poker game.

The place has a perfect mix of grit and charm — kind of like if the Wild West got a light makeover and a liquor license. After wandering around the historic downtown, I half expected my car to be a horse waiting out front. It’s the kind of town that makes you want to say things like “much obliged” and tip a nonexistent hat.

Day #3 – A Monumental Morning

Up well before sunrise — the kind of early that makes roosters roll their eyes — I hit the road for the 35-minute drive to Mount Rushmore. Coffee in hand, headlights cutting through the dark, I felt like a caffeinated explorer on a sacred pilgrimage to see four very famous heads carved into stone.

My trusty travel guide, ChatGPT, had recommended catching Mount Rushmore right at sunrise. He did not disappoint. As the first light crept over the Black Hills, the faces of Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln glowed like they’d just woken up from a 200-year nap. A controlled burn in the area added a faint reddish haze to the sky on this day, giving the mountain an almost cinematic glow — part “national monument,” part “epic opening scene.”

After soaking it all in (and taking enough photos to fill my phone’s memory), it was time to hit the highway again — next destination: Gering, Nebraska. The open road was calling, and I was ready to see what surprises awaited in the land of cornfields, windmills, and whatever else Nebraska has in store for a wandering road warrior.

Trouble While Traveling Thru Corn Paradise

After about a 4.5 hour drive south into Nebraska and about 30 minutes outside my next stop in Gering, Nebraska, I had my first (and hopefully last) run-in with the law — a friendly but adrenaline-spiking encounter with the Nebraska State Highway Patrol. Apparently, I’d let my foot get a little too enthusiastic with the gas pedal. After binge-watching countless online videos the last couple of years of people behaving badly during police traffic stops, I knew exactly what not to do — no sudden moves, no attitude, and definitely no “I pay your salary” speeches.

The officer, it turns out, was less interested in my speed and more curious about my five-state road trip adventure. Once he heard the story, he seemed half intrigued, half convinced I might be slightly unhinged for doing this solo. After a polite roadside pat-down (really!) with my hands on the hood of my car (which really adds a certain intimacy to a Saturday morning) and a brief chat inside his patrol car while he ran my license, he smiled, handed me a warning, and sent me on my way.

Whew. Crisis averted — no ticket, no cuffs, and my road trip reputation intact. Just another exciting chapter in what’s quickly becoming a very memorable journey across America’s middle. My first time being pulled over by a cop in over 40 years.

Evening in Gering, NE – Where the Cows Outnumber the People (and Then Some)

As I rolled into the Gering, NE area, the scenery shifted from open plains to mile after mile of cattle farms — and the unmistakable aroma that comes with them. The air had that “fresh from the pasture” scent that lets you know you’ve officially arrived in cow country. By the time I hit town, the smell had settled in like a permanent guest.

Needing a break from all things beef, I found refuge in a local brewery that served up wood-fired pizzas — a welcome change in a land where cows reign supreme and steak is practically its own food group. It was there, over a cold beer and a sausage & pepperoni pizza, that I struck up a conversation with a local guy who dropped a jaw-dropping fact: this county has a population of around 8,000 people and 800,000 cattle.

That’s right — for every person, there are roughly a hundred cows. It’s not just a local industry here; it’s practically a religion. Let’s just say, in this part of Nebraska, the residents may be friendly… but the majority of the voters probably moo.

Day #4 – The Long Haul to Hays, Kansas (and Listening to One of My Favorite U.S. Senators Along the Way)

Today was the marathon stretch of the trip — just over seven hours on the road, which is about the point when you start wondering if your car seat has a personal vendetta against you. The route served up a steady diet of cornfields, oil rigs, and the occasional tumbleweed cameo — especially across Kansas, where the horizon stretches farther than common sense.

To keep my brain entertained, I listened to the entire new audiobook of Senator John Kennedy’s “How to Test Negative for Stupid: And Why Washington Never Will.” Between his deadpan delivery and razor-sharp wit, it was the perfect companion for a long Kansas drive. Highly recommended. I really like this guy!

I’d planned to break up the drive with shooting some sporting clays along the way, but rain had other ideas. Apparently, Kansas weather doesn’t share my enthusiasm for outdoor marksmanship. So I pushed on through the drizzle and finally rolled into Hays, Kansas, just in time for NFL football and some much-needed (hotel) couch time. After seven hours behind the wheel and a full dose of political comedy, I’d earned it.

Day #5 – The Final Stretch to Oklahoma City

Today marked the grand finale — day five, the last leg of this five-state adventure. I was up at 5 a.m., coffee in hand and GPS set for Oklahoma City, my final destination. The drive stretched about 4½ hours through an early morning fog that made the prairie look like a ghostly painting — beautiful, mysterious, and slightly concerning for visibility.

To stay awake and entertained, I alternated between a Charlie Kirk podcast and music from Morgan Wallen and Sam Fender — a mix of country swagger and British angst that somehow fit the mood of the road perfectly. Somewhere along the way, I realized this was it — the end of my “Five States in Five Days” quest.

My first stop in Oklahoma City was the National Memorial & Museum, a place that instantly replaces road-trip chatter with silence. It’s a deeply moving tribute and a sobering reminder of one of the darkest days in our nation’s history. Standing there, surrounded by the reflecting pool and empty chairs, I felt the weight of how fragile and precious life really is.

Afterward, I made my way to Charleston’s in Bricktown for lunch — the perfect spot to quietly reflect over a good meal. The food hit the spot, the trip was officially complete, and I couldn’t help but feel that mix of pride, gratitude, and just a touch of exhaustion that only comes from checking off a true bucket-list dream.

Key Takeaways from My 5 States in 5 Days Adventure

If I had to sum up this whirlwind journey through the heart of America, I’d say this: the Midwest may be flat, but its people sure aren’t. Every single person I met — from the TSA agent who inspected my shotgun to the Nebraska state trooper who almost gave me a souvenir citation — was warm, welcoming, and genuinely curious about my “five states in five days” mission. Most thought it was awesome; a few thought it was slightly insane. Both are correct.

If you’ve got a bucket-list goal simmering in your mind — something you keep saying you’ll do “someday” — here’s my advice: just do it. Life’s too short to wait for perfect timing or total agreement from your spouse (no offense, Robin). Sometimes, you’ve got to grab the steering wheel of life — and maybe a road atlas — and go chase that slightly ridiculous dream.

I also learned that there’s beauty in every corner of this country. Whether it’s the Martian landscapes of the Badlands, the majesty of Mount Rushmore, or the cowboy charm of Deadwood, the Great Plains remind you that the U.S. is a masterpiece painted in wide skies, golden fields, and endless roads. I’d definitely like to return to southwest South Dakota someday — I barely scratched the surface.

But for all the fun and freedom of the open road, I have to admit — I missed my wife, Robin, and I’ll be glad to get home in time to celebrate her birthday. After all, some journeys end right where they’re supposed to: back home with the person who makes it all worth it.

And finally… let me leave you with one last gem of wisdom:

Don’t speed in Nebraska. They will notice.